Transformers: Dark of The Moon

I grew up as a disciple of Hasbro Inc. --- Transformers, GI Joe, My Little Pony, and of course the awesome Jem and the Holograms, are the stuff my childhood was made of. When I heard that they were making a movie based on The Transformers I was thrilled. Me and my fellow 80's kids still joke about how the death of Optimus Prime scarred our tween hearts forever.I really enjoyed Transformers, but I thought Revenge of the Fallen was a nonsensical mess. Apparently, so did the Transformers Movie Gods and with Dark of the Moon we actually get a -----plot and a good movie.

It's a few years after the last big battle between the Autobots and the Decepticons and our hero Sam, played by Shia LaBeouf,  is all grown up and facing a bigger monster than the Decepticons will ever be : The US Job Market. While Sam's new British girlfriend Carly, played by newcomer Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, is OK supporting her "American Boy Toy," Sam is having a hard time adjusting to the idea of settling into a nine to five gig when he's "saved the world twice!" Yeah, he's still a bit whinny.He gets his chance to get back into the action, however, when he stumbles upon a Decepticon/human conspiracy to take over the world and turn humans into slaves. Once again, Sam finds himself in the middle of the battle to save humanity, but this time they have underestimated their enemies and winning may not be an option....

Dark of the Moon is a really fun movie. I enjoyed the tie into the space race of the 1960's and the conspiracy was interesting. Everything is also bigger and the stakes are higher. I also liked that you see the devastation of war and the Decepticons feel like a real threat for the first time in the trilogy. The special effects are amazing and the action scenes put you on the edge of your seat. Also, we actually get to see the Autobots and Decepticons in their robot forms through most of the movie. My biggest complaint from the last movie is that they spent most of their time in car form and it felt like I was watching one long GM commercial.

It was also fun seeing almost all the old characters back at the rodeo and Patrick Dempsey,  Frances McDormand and Ken Jeong are great additions. Also my Trekkie heart loved the inclusion of Leonard Lemoy as the lost Autobot leader Sentinel Prime.

I did have some complaints, though. Look, this is a movie about giant alien robots so I'm not going to spend a long time on characterization, but if Megan Fox had to be replaced could she have been replaced by somebody who didn't look so awkward in scenes, could do a little thing called acting, and had just a tiny bit of chemistry with Shia LaBeouf ?

I will never understand why they didn't cast the anti-Mikaela for Sam's newest love interest. It was unbelievable enough that Mikaela would fall for Sam, but they were kids and he stepped in and became her hero, but what does Carly see in the goofy, unemployed, non hunky Sam?  Girls like Carly don't date guys like Sam. They just don't. Yes, they wanted a hot girl for the movie, I get that, but this is Hollywood. I know there is a beautiful actress out there who could have "played nerdy" and looked great doing it.

Why is Sam so depressed that he can't find a job THREE MONTHS out of college? When I graduated from college I had to take a job as a playground worker for a year. Welcome to the real world Sammy!

Also, why is Optimus Prime so bloodthirsty? He went from almost being a pacifist in the first movie to practically growling and ripping his enemies throats out and eating their still beating hearts. I know killing is a necessary evil in war, but the good guys really shouldn't be revealing in it as much as the bad guys, you know. I guess his revival in the last movie left him with a new and unimproved personality.

There were also some down right ridiculous moments. Watching Carly run through a battlefield in stilettos, wearing white, and never getting dirty, never smudging her make-up, or  never getting a hair out of place made me laugh out loud. And while we are back on the issue of the film's leading lady, I know that Megan Fox has taken a lot of hits for having the audacity to complain about her "big break," but the bum shot of Rosie in the beginning of the movie should put to rest any idea that the sexism in these movies is all in her head. Every woman in this movie is sexed up, it's even implied that all Frances McDormand's character, the very serious Mearing, is missing is a good lay. You can argue that Ms. Fox should have sucked it up, but I can see her point. The new girl Carly is so inconsequential that this movie could have been easily done without her and that's just the truth. No woman in this movie matters and it either bothers you or it doesn't.

Over all, I would recommend this movie to anybody looking for a fun time. It's a good old fashion movie, that with its plot and eye catching effects, is surprisingly more than meets the eye.

Pirates of The Caribbean : On Stranger Tides

I am a huge fan of Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. However, the last two Pirates were a mixed bag for me. I was not a fan of the convoluted plots and increasingly darker tone, but I enjoyed them for the most part, and was very much looking forward to On Stranger Tides. While most people seemed disappointed in the movie, I felt that it was a decent addition to the series, but that’s not to say I didn’t have real problems with it.

Based on Tim Powers’ novel of the same name, my main problem with the movie is that it makes the strange decision to gloss over the main plot --- the search for the fountain of youth--- to focus on tedious fight scenes, undeveloped relationships, dropped plot threads and one of the most boring “romances” in cinema history.

When both the Spanish and British Empires find proof that The Fountain of Youth has been located, there is a rush to beat each other to the amazing find. Captain Jack, however, has no interest in the search, but unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it) his ex-girlfriend Angelica does. Her father, the dreaded pirate Blackbeard, has been marked for death, and desperate to save him, she lures Jack onboard the Queen Anne’s Revenge to help them find the immortal elixir.

I thought Penelope Cruz was magnificent as Angelica and she and Johnny Depp had a lot of chemistry. Their scenes crackled and you believed that they were once/and maybe still are in love. I also enjoyed Ian McShane as the morally bankrupt Blackbeard.

The movie was bloated, though. They spent a half an hour on an “impersonation plot” that was little more than a way to introduce Angelica in a “cool way”. They could have cut that subplot out entirely and went directly into the search.

The fight scenes were over the top, and at times unnecessary, but that has become par for the course for Pirates movies.

My biggest gripe with the movie is the plot. The Search for The Fountain of Youth is ingrained in our imaginations, and is really a set-up for an amazing, fantastical adventure. But in On Stranger Tides it’s almost an afterthought, and by the time the search reaches its obligatory ending, you realize they could have been looking for treasure, a lost continent, or Jack’s socks and it wouldn’t have mattered. It seems like a waste of a tantalizing topic.

The characterizations were also weak. Jack and Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) have a complicated history, but somehow I never felt like I was watching the same guys from the past movies. There was something missing. But Rush was brilliant and hilarious as a pirate trying to act like a gentlemen solider.

With Will and Elizabeth’s storyline wrapped up in that last movie, there are two new love young birds in the mix, which brings us to the weakest link in the movie --- the “romance” between the ship’s kidnapped clergyman (Sam Claflin) and a mermaid (Astrid Berges-Frisbey).  I personally didn’t think they needed the young blood. The Angelica/Jack banter filled the romance quota just fine. Maybe it would have worked if the clergyman wasn’t such a boring waste of celluloid. The only amusement I got from him was the guy sitting next to me periodically begging his mermaid girlfriend to eat him! That was funny.   

Jack also felt off too, but that really didn’t bother me so much. Even though Captain Jack became the most popular character in the franchise, the movies were really about Will and Elizabeth, and he was their sidekick. This movie reboots the franchise so it’s Captain Jack’s story. It delves more into his background and personality, so we are seeing a new Jack. It’s a bit jarring, and takes some getting use too, but as the new movies progress I’m sure we’ll all come to love this new Jack, as much as we love the old one.

 My verdict? If you want to see a fun movie go see On Stranger Tides. If you want to see a good movie rent or download The Curse of the Black Pearl on Netflix.

Tron Legacy

Having never seen the original Tron I wasn't sure what to expect when I went to see Tron Legacy, I expected to be entertained, but I didn't expect to enjoy the movies as much as I did.

It's twenty-something years after the first Tron and computer genius Kevin Flynn has disappeared leaving his empire to his disinterested son who let's a bunch of money grubbing pricks run it. The pricks "greed is good" motto goes against Kevin Flynn's "free love, technology for all" motto and former Big Man on Top and Flynn best friend Alan, played by a still gorgeous Bruce Boxlietner, is suffering in silence over it. Alan gets a page, yes a page! from Kevin's old office and Sam goes to investigate and is sucked into the world of Tron where he must stop a megalomaniac program from trying to conquer "the real world."

I had no problem following the storyline, which was great and I actually found myself liking Sam Flynt from the beginning which was a plus because I wanted to follow his journey and I was rooting for him to reunite with his dad. I also was a big fan of the story itself. I also thought they did a good job establishing Sam as a fearless daredevil so his later antics in Tron seemed totally believable.

I find the concept of what it means to be alive fascinating and I think the religious overtones added a layer to the story that made it more than the average video game turned movie fare. I also liked the fact that what is happening in Tron is a hell built on good intentions. There is also some amusing computer generation that Jeff Bridges must have gotten a kick out of. While I didn't agree with way the movie wrapped up Sam's quasi love interest and Flynn protege Quorra's arc, I understand why they chose that route.This was an amazing movie to watch and did I mention that Bruce Boxlietner is still gorgeous?

Four Snaps Up!